A reflection on language development...

Delayed Pre-school Language Skills

Children are very near and dear to my heart. I am a mother of three - a son of 9 years and two daughters that are 5 and 2 years of age. Our oldest will be turning 10 years old later this year and will be entering 4th grade in the Fall of 2008. He tends to be fairly reserved and likes to keep to himself at times but has no issue with spending time with his younger sisters, yet. Our 5 year old daughter is quite spirited and willful in a loud way. Much to our excitement, she will be entering Kindergarten this Fall. Our 2 year old is as spirited and willful as her older sister but in a quieter manner. In raising our children, it’s been amazing learning and experiencing the vast differences between each of the three of them. Our oldest is quietest, our middle child is loudest and our youngest is somewhere in between her two older siblings. I have to admit it makes for an interesting balance. Despite the vast differences between our 3 wonderful children, there is a striking difference between the early language development between our son and our two daughters. I don’t like to compare because I know that every child has his/her own way of learning and at his/her own rate of time. However, there are times that a difference is so incredibly different that it’s difficult not to compare, and may even be necessary, for the sake of the development of the child.

One such comparison is in the area of language development. Particularly during the younger, pre-school aged years. Our 5 year old daughter speaks extremely well. She is also on the taller side of average, so many thought that when she was 3-4 years old that she was in Kindergarten or even 1st grade. The language development of our 2 year old daughter has exploded into full sentence form for the past few months. To me it’s absolutely mind-blowing and amazing how her language structure has blossomed into such a complex form. Yet she talks that way with ease. To compare our daughters’ language development to our son’s seems unfair but it’s necessary. For our, 9 going on 10 year old is had a more difficult time in developing language skills during a very crucial time. It began when he was not quite 1 ½ years old. Starting around that time he began to experience pretty regular and stubborn ear infections. This continued in an on/off manner until he was about 2 ½ years or so. After that the ear infections were much further and fewer in-between and had negated the need for ear tubes. It’s been so long since his last ear infection, that I cannot even recall when the last one was.

I had done the usual things to help promote language development that doctors, parenting magazines and books had suggested. Talk to your baby in utero, read to him/her often, talk with him/her often and face-to-face – things like that. I did all that. I still read to or with each of our children, regularly. One of our son’s favorite books before bedtime was Goodnight Moon. It got to the point where I didn’t even need the book anymore because could recite it word for word. As the time of his stubborn ear infections took hold, it was evident later that it negatively impacted his language development. During the beginning week of Kindergarten, he would not talk much about his day. That was something I looked forward so much to, every afternoon. To hear about all the wondrous things he learned about and did during his day. I wanted him to understand that I was genuinely interested in knowing what he experienced in his daily school life. He did understand that but he found it difficult to share the details of his school days. Something just didn’t seem quite right. Plus we had already experienced some language development issues already with his particular manner of speaking - speaking often in first-person narrative (saying his own name in a statement instead of me or I, not asking questions and avoiding conversations in general. I posed questions about his language development to several different doctors he saw over the span of those few years. They all indicated that he would probably outgrow that and develop normal language skills. I hesitantly accepted that. This was still very new to me. Yet I knew, deep inside, something was not right.

Kindergarten began in September. The first parent/teacher conference was later in October of that year. His teacher discussed her concerns about our son’s language development and social interaction. It feels so long ago, that I cannot recall all of what she had said. But I do vividly remember that I finally felt like we were understood, that our concerns up to this point were finally validated. They were finally given a voice! It was clear that our son had experienced the effects of delayed language development. It was getting to a point where it was interfering with his judgment on how to deal with everyday playground (social) interactions. The delayed language development affected his reading (comprehension), writing, speech and social interactions.

With our son’s Kindergarten teacher’s recommendations and our approval, we embarked on the arduously long task of assessing his language and social skills. It took months to complete but in the end it allowed him to received additional services at the school. Through what is called an IEP (Individualized Education Plan), our son began to receive services from the school’s speech pathologist, as well as the literacy and special education teachers. His IEP was categorized under Developmental Delay. Once an IEP is established, it is good for three years. Our son just completed his triennial review and after an eligibility meeting at the end of last month, there is a new IEP. He no longer is classified as developmentally delayed. His new, and now current, IEP is solely the category of Language/Communication. Our son has made great strides in overcoming his language disabilities. The new IEP will allow him to make even greater strides. Even our son is excited.

I know that hindsight is 20-20 and I wish I had been more determined for answers when he was still in his toddler and pre-school years. Of course though, being a new mother I wasn’t always confident in my concerns. That has changed now. I am incredibly happy and thankful though, that our son still received services to help with his language and comprehension issues at still a young age. This will allow the help he’s being provided with to make more of an impact and provide him with the tools he needs to overcome his challenges.

In my next segment, I will discuss the recommendations of language development during the very formative pre-school years.